I think I finally have a feasible fitness plan for 2019

349 pounds snuck up on me. The last time I had checked, I was 312, which was still 100 pounds too heavy. Now I am 150 pounds overweight. I could blame the season or blame the stress and sitting required to launch an online magazine, but I know the blame is on me. Now, I am going to really stop waiting for Godot and actually put the action plan I have been noodling every single day in 2018 without activating. Yes, I have all the gear but none of the run, ride, row. So, here’s my plan.

Riding

As you might have read, I have joined CycleBar on Columbia Pike here in South Arlington, Virginia. Maria Ryan is my patron saint of fitness, but the studio she runs and the classes they offer are really only one part of my success plan.

Walking

In terms of exercise, I am very pleased that there’s exactly a mile between where I live and where the studio is. Maybe closer to 1.2 miles. For someone who weighs this much, briskly walking to class from my pad to CycleBar is like doing a Farmer’s Carry with a 24kg (53lbs) in each hand. It’s a bit of a workout on its own. It also allows me to warm and cool off a little bit more before and after the rides.

Mon Wed Fri

I only plan to visit CycleBar every other day. For now, the 45-minutes I ride, even though it’s pretty slow compared to the other spin goddesses, beats me up a little. I tried to stretch last night but my legs feel it today, so if I went to another class tonight, there would be an extreme diminishing return on investment and I might suppress my immune system again and come down with round two of a cold; or, worse, injure myself.

So, I will aspire to ride on Monday night and Wednesday nights at 7:30pm and then on Fridays at 6:30pm. I don’t know but I think that two of those ride might include wine afterwards.

During the Day on Ride Days

On my ride days, I will be working on my treadmill desk, like always. of course. But I would also like to put meters in on the SkiErg and on the Rower as well. I did buy a well-loved used Keiser M3 exercise bike, which is very cool but very low tech. And it looks like the future. I feel like it’s a good idea to jump on the bike for a half an hour or so at night during TV time just to make sure I keep some blood in my legs.

Hurry-up Slowass

I mean, both my Fitbit Alta HR and my Garmin 920xt both tell me that I need to get up, get moving, they don’t tell me, “have a good sit, you’ll be riding later tonight” or “keep on the couch and binge watch Counterpart on STARZ, you’ll be working out tomorrow.”

Tue Thu Sat Sun

On the off days, I want to do meters on the Indoor Rower—my old Erg—just to keep the blood flowing and because I am on an indoor rowing team, Team Blue Wave, and I owe them meters. And there will always be Concept2 challenges that I can row and ski for. I also have the kettlebells that I was to return to.

Full Body Workout

So, while Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are now my scheduled class days, there are a lot of other parts of the body that riding and walking don’t reach. My business partner, and CrossFit god, Dan Krueger, recommends push-ups, sit-ups, air squats, and other bodyweight exercises. I might even pop a trip to XSport or to 9Round on the Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday days.

What About Running?

Indeed. I hear you. I don’t think that running while I am 350 pounds is a very good idea but I agree with you. In honor of the name of this blog, rnnr, I need to do what my buddy, Sergey Krayev, suggests to me: “get outside and walk for an hour before you go to bed. It’ll fill you with fresh air, get you some exercise, and get you ready for a good night’s sleep.” I think that’s excellent advice.

Phase 2

When I get better at spinning, and become stronger and much more fit, my gym, XSport Fitness, is on the way home, as is 9Round. I would love to get strong and fit enough that I could add some evening stretching, body weight exercises, and some weightlifting, on the way home. But for now, that would be disastrous. I felt pretty shagged this morning. And that’ll happen for now.

On Gaining 50

Gaining another 50 pounds instead of losing it was well within my power. There was a lot of time, a little later at night after I had done so well counting my calories on MyFitnessPal and keeping everything mostly plant-based and mostly under 1,500 calories-a-day, when I just said, “fuck it, I’m hungry and I deserve this.”

I Deserve to be Healthy

You know what I deserve? To be healthy, to be limber, to be fit, to be strong, to be able to pop off the floor or out of a chair, and to weight 220lbs or so. That’s what I deserve.

Fuck Pizza

A pizza ain’t nothing compared to that. I don’t deserve the pizza. I’ll never deserve the pizza. The pizza’s nothing to deserve.

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